I froze, trying to comprehend what was happening. She had a tin can...for money? She was knocking on doors, asking for money in a creative way? Wow...but now I was supposed to say "sure," politely listen, then pay her what I thought the song was worth? Or what I thought she should have? Or...I couldn't think what to do! I was so intensely uncomfortable that after a few seconds I finally managed to get out a "no thanks" and shut the door.I've been second-guessing myself ever since, mostly about being a Scrooge.
Then last week there was another encounter with a different person. My adult daughter and I drove up to my house after dark, waiting for a pedestrian to continue walking past the opening of the driveway. Instead she waited as we pulled in, got out, then walked towards us. It was a young black woman in a stylish leather jacket, saying "Hi, I'm Amy, don't worry, I'm not a killer! I'm just wondering if you can loan me bus fare so I can meet my son! I feel really stupid asking, but I'm broke until payday and I could pay you back next week!"
"Um, we could just give you a ride there, I mean my husband and I could," I said, hesitantly...he was pulling up behind us in a second car.
"Well, no, I can take the bus," Amy said heartily. "I just need a few dollars for bus fare."
After a few minutes conversation including an offer of three dollars, Amy walked away with five dollars--"how about just an extra dollar or two for a pop."
I am sorry for anyone who feels they need to ask strangers for money, straight up or disguised in a ruse...but both of those times left me feeling like the loser, and I keep trying to figure out why.
